What is Relationship Abuse?
Dating violence or relationship abuse is a pattern of behavior that someone uses against an intimate partner. Violence and abuse can take on many forms including: threats, emotional abuse, insults, isolation from friends and family, name calling, controlling what someone wears, controlling with whom someone socializes, sexual abuse.
Types of Abuse
- physical
- emotional
- psychological
- financial
- etc.
- REMEMBER - it's not just physical!
Healthy Relationships
- open and honest communication
- negotiation and fairness
- non-threatening behavior
- mutual respect
- trust and support
- honesty and accountability
- gender equality
- shared responsibility
- economic partnership
10 Tips for Talking to Kids About Relationships
- Assess your own values before you talk to your kids.
- Reveal the Unspoken "Rules of Dating"
- Don’t assume your tween/teen knows how to act on a date or how to be treated
- Make sure they know the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship
- Tell the whole truth -- good and bad!
- Teach assertiveness, not aggressiveness
- Teach anger control
- Teach problem solving
- Teach negotiation
- Explain the "Danger Zone" -- help your tween/teen know the signals. ANY act of violence is a "bad sign"
- Keep no secrets
- Be the ultimate role model!
What if Your Tween/Teen Share He/She is a Victim of Abuse?
- Listen and believe
- Don't judge them or their actions
- Help them realize the abuse is not their fault
- Urge them to devise a safety plan
What if You Think Your Tween/Tween Might be Abusive?
- Abusive people come from all walks of life
- Abusive behavior doesn't stop when the victim leaves -- most abuse people abuse multiple partners
- The good news:
- Abuse is a learned behavior and can eventually be unlearned
- Help is available in our community -- talk to a professional
- The bad news:
- Not getting help can end up being a serious issue -- domestic abuse is a crime.
What Do You Say?
"You know I really care about you, and you are important to me. I've been noticing you are not yourself lately (note warning signs here) and I am concerned about you. I would rather have you mad at me than anything bad ever happen to you, so I just want to ask you -- are you safe in your relationship?"
When the Relationship is Over
- Just because the abusive relationship is over, doesn't mean the risk of violence is over -- keep talking with your tween/teen about how things are going.
- You may need to have a plan of action with the school
UNDER CONSTRUCTION.......
Victim’s Economic Security & Safety Act (VESSA)
Victim’s Economic Security & Safety Act (VESSA)
Ø The Los Angles County District Attorney’s Anti-Stalking
Los Angles County District Attorney’s Anti-Stalking
Ø Anti-Stalking Safety Tips
Stalking-Specific Safety Tips
Ø National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence
National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence
Ø Power and Control Wheel
Explains the dynamics of Domestic Abuse
Power and Control Wheel
"Wheels" Adapted from the Power and Control Wheel Model
GirlsAllowed
loveisnotabuse
